If I had just one task, to wear nothing but blue. I’d wear the wrong shade and upset him deeper.
I am all the ill, take away this one presence and all would be well again.
It’s my voice, it’s my words, my manner, my tone, my look.
It’s the way I pile the dishes and make the bed. If i could just change these things.
If I could just change the way I like to spend time together in the evenings.
If I could change my hair and my appetite.
If I could not talk so much.
If I could listen better and learn not to interrupt, be supportive and pay more attention.
Maybe then my name wouldn’t be stupid, maybe then I wouldn’t embarrass myself so much.
If I could not be so greedy and give more, maybe even get another job.
If only I could complain less, feed the children a better diet and clean the house without moving a thing.
If I could just stop being so purposely irritating.
If only I could be grateful and not so demanding.
Then, then it would be different.