I’m teeth hurtingly happy heck I’m going all out tis the season to be jolly mental, I’m blessed!
I know there is a lot of this cheesy chat mag style stuff floating about, but i’m not talking in a cutesy twirly dress girly way, I mean these words from the bottom of my feet.
Everything is going along swimmingly, we aren’t moving house again (we’ve moved the past two years in December, i recommend it if you enjoy pressure.) I’m also not pregnant or breast feeding which has been the case over Christmas since 2010, I’m almost me again!
This jolliness obviously has its roots in my beautiful children, being in the house I longed to live in and finally having a loving family around me at Christmas time, but there is a twist in the mixture. I am smiley happy because I am learning to be myself. To do things, even the smallest things the way I chose just as I set out to do in Blog one. It’s taking effect and it’s awesome!
I’ve have two recent and very exciting developments in my Bravery project. The first is meeting a very special Mr David Long a photographer with a very kind heart, good karma is coming his way. David contacted me following my ‘to answer a few questions’ blog and invited me to participate in a photo shoot, with actual real life do it for a living models. Needless to say it took a lot of nail biting and freaking out at how unaesthetic I actually am…. What happened? I can’t wait to show you! I’ll be writing a piece about this experience in 2014.
Next up, an out of the blue text message from an old aerobic client. She wanted to start up a new group and is looking for an instructor just one day a week. How, bloody, fantastic is that?! I can’t commit to any more evenings and it’s just plain uneconomical for me to set up solo for one night a week . Fate is shining down on me.
Ooooh tying the laces on my trainers again felt fantastic, I literally bounced all the way to the venue. I was finally doing something productive, something I enjoy and people were paying for the privilege.
I was bubbling over with energy and excitement making putting a class plan together easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Note to Self, self believe is the most powerful of all powers, use it don’t ignore it.
So… Have I done anything else I’d usually shy away from? Well of course and i have no plans of stopping 🙂
I boldly invited myself to a coffee morning with a group of young female art enthusiasts. Why is that scary? Because I’m crap at art obviously, who cares that it’ a passion of mine, that I have studied the subject. I’m pants, no one will like my ideas, people will disagree with me rudely and my bottom lip will quiver. I’ll forget everything that I know and i’ll want to run away. They will be boring obnoxious, self obsessed bunch of know it alls that will turn my stomach…
Noh, noh, noh, I loved it! The only thing pants was the actual art, no, now that is ignorant of me. Lets say it wasn’t my cup of tea, it didn’t stir anything or get my mind whirring as I had hoped. That’s not a reflection on the artists, I believe it was more a reflection of me at that time.
How satisfying it felt to be sat in the corner house cafe again, it must have been 13 years ago the last time. chatting, laughing, just being little ol moi, how self indulgent. The convo was very natural probably as i’m in the process of getting to know myself, I won’t pretend anything if I can help it. I’m trying hard to stop being agreeable just to please or not wanting to hurt other peoples feelings. Instead If I don’t like something i’ll either stay quiet or shrug it off with, “it’s not really my thing” or “No, I’m not too keen I prefer……….insert topic……..”
There was one utter knob in the group who was incredibly rude to the staff. I noticed how she disagreed with everything and didn’t like anything. From her I learnt that insecurity can turn a person in to something very ugly.
Before leaving I made my way over to the bar and apologised to the staff.
I also made a complaint following a rather unpleasant experience at Toms champagne bar at Kendals Manchester, now that’s not very Shrinking Violet like is it? They offered a visit on the house, I didn’t take up the offer but I felt a whole lot better.
In the new year, my main priority is concentrating on my eldest boy, he turns 12 in 2014, I’ll soon miss the little boy I raised as he’ll be grown up. He’s entering the confusing years and I could so easily lose him.
Second on my list of to do’s is to read more and write small and often. Practice makes perfect.
Thirdly, to not to be so obsessed with household chores. (OMG)
And fourth, keep Mrs Shrinking alive.